Them Scaaaaary Eighties Movies

There are certain types of people who annoy me more than others. One of those types are the "Old Rock n' Roll is better" kin. Whenever old animated movies are brought up in a conversation, you can bet there's one guy who will jump in and say "Eighties movies were so dark and edgy, so much better than new animated films". I hate this sentiment. In fact, I despise it when people focus on a film or a game's darkness like it's some never-fail element of quality. But how often is a film's darkness a positive trait? Darkness is frequently abused. In the case of the Brave Little Toaster, it's use of darkness if frequently debated.

The movie starts off with a chilling atmosphere. Long shots with no music- it's effective. Unfortunately this is a kid's movie, so what the hell are you doing setting up the movie like a horror flick? Oh, that's right. This is an eighties film and filmmakers thought kids were into Little Richie and getting the crap scared out of them.

Within the first ten minutes or so of the movie, we are introduced to our characters, a heating blanket goes on an acid trip when he hears a car approaching, and the air conditioner has an aneurysm and dies. All of this intermixed with pessimism and melancholy. Things turn around when the titular Toaster bands everyone together to head out and find their neglectful Master in the city.

There's not a lot of time to breath in this movie. The movie has a very fearsome atmosphere throughout. It's unforgettable and being so freakin' scary, but it's dark. There's the infamous nightmare sequence with a creepy-ass clown chasing Toaster with a hose- hoping to water down the Toaster and causing the hero to short circuit and die. Following that, the heroes wake up to find Blanky drifting away on nighttime storm wind. Aaaand then Lampy- the desk lamp- purposely gets struck by lightning.

Lots of other fun things happen, like Kirby- the vacuum cleaner- having a seizure and choking on his cord (tongue), drowning in quicksand, and being brought to an appliance shack to be gutted for parts. One of my favourite scenes in this movie is when the gang comes across a pond. Toaster, annoyed by all the frogs staring into her(?) mirror-y surface, walks off into a meadow. She meets a flower- an almost sentient flower- but gets uncomfortable with the flower's advances. Running off and hiding, she spies on the saddened flower as it withers dead- it had died of rejection. Yeah.

The ending at the junkyard is the part people seem to like the most. The heroes get dumped into a junkyard and are chased by a demonic magnetic crane that just wants to seem them on the conveyor belt and crushed into tiny block of scrap. A nice little musical number starts- "Worthless"- and a dozen cars sing their farewells before they are crushed dead. Oh, and one drives into the crusher as a suicide reference.

The film's climatic scene is Toaster sacrificing herself by plummeting into some gears and jamming them up to stop the crusher from squashing her master. I guess suicidal thoughts are contagious. Don't worry, though. The film has a happy ending that feels almost too happy and sunny for such a dark story.

This brings up my point. How dark is too dark for a kid's movie? Now, this movie is one of the darkest kid's films I've ever seen. However, it feels like it hasn't gone too far, so it gets a passing grade. And it used its darkness well. The bright and sunny parts of the film really resonate with the viewer because the rest of the film is so macabre. The ending feels truly earned for the heroes- like a real victory. You can't say the same with all dark kid's films.

Since the nineties and the rise of Pixar and Dreamworks, kids films have gotten a lot more... pop. There's better jokes in the scripts- kids movies nowadays are just a lot more aware of adult viewers, or so it seems. Some movies take this too far (like Shrek 3) but that's another rant for another time.

Top 10 Favourite Final Boss Themes

 10. Final Fantasy VIII

Uematsu is a man who does well to be unleashed. Although his work on the NES Final Fantasy games is great, his genius really started to show off on the SNES with better sound engines. And then the PSX came around and his soundtracks blew the doors off of gamers everywhere. Final Fantasy VIII, which could be considered his best sountrack. The final boss has four stages but contains three original tracks. Each of them is excellent, but Maybe I'm A Lion is a great callback to the final boss sound of FF6's Dancing Mad. And the last boss theme employs a very ambience sound- uncommon for Uematsu's final boss songs.

9. Donkey Kong Country 3

Some soundtracks are against you. Some boss themes want you to lose. The final boss theme to Donkey Kong Country 3 wants you to lose. And it wants you to lose at the most disappointing time. And it wants you to dread the futility of trying to beat K. Rool. It's not laughing at you, but it's taking pleasure in your folly.

8. Final Fantasy: Mystic Quest

I don't rate Mystic Quest too highly in the gameplay department, but I do love the soundtrack and find it pretty stand-out. The final boss theme is even more so, as it sticks in your head. Its composition- you could put this on for a total stranger, and they'd know it's a final boss song. And even though it reuses many of the same elements as the rest of the soundtrack, it's still authentic.

7. Super Metroid

This one is particularily great. There's not a lot of story or character in Super Metroid, so to get a feel for the world you have to rely on atmosphere, like music. With Mother Brain's theme, we get the sense that Mother Brain is a very bad person- tyranical even. I seem to slight favouring for music that's loud and annoying, and Mother Brain's theme might fit under that label. The organ just screeches, just like Mother Brain herself.

6. Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater

Snake Eater's ten minute fight in the flower fields is one of the best moments in the franchise's history. Use up enough time in that fight, and the game's theme song begin's to play. I'm cheating in picking a song that is used beforehand in the game, but it's usage in the culminative fight is so powerful- it's just like a scene in a movie.

5. Final Fanagay VI

There's no denying that FF6 contained one of the most revolutionary soundtracks for its time, pushing the SNES sound hardware to its limits. The multi-tiered final boss themes was a very ambitious idea. From start to finish, the composition is magnificent. But just when you think the music couldn't get anymore awesome, the final part with Kefka comes and it's the most outstanding utilizing some advanced effects most people were unaware the SNES soundchip could even do. Possibly the best final boss music on the Super Nintendo.

4. Super Mario RPG

Is there anything more villainous sounding than an organ? The answer: not a whole lot. Actually, even after this song's intro, the organ really makes this song. The first part of the final boss theme still sounds like part of the Super Mario RPG soundtrack with its use of several electronic drum beats. The second part of the final boss battle has a much more intense darker theme. Although it uses many instruments frequently featured in the Super Mario RPG score, it's composition is unlike the rest. It's especially charming to hear the marimba in such a tense song. One of the most standout tracks on the soundtrack, for sure.

3. Yoshi's Island

The first stage of Yoshi's Island's final battle reuses an earlier boss theme. Whatever, it's a warm up. But then comes the real boss battle with the real boss music. The song begins with a creeping guitar track echoing across the black abyss as two red eyes appear in the darkness. The beginning of the song is synced up well to Big Bowser's introduction- it's pretty effective and menacing. After the song takes off, you got two electric guitars going- one as rhythm and one as lead- in a fast-past rock anthem. Most importantly, this final boss theme still stands out from the rest of the game's music.

2. EarthBound

When you start the final battle with Giygas, you're treated to a nice little chiptune boss theme. It's a little unsettling when compared to the fullness of the rest of the game's soundtrack. But let that battle go for more fifty seconds and the boss music flipturns into a thrashing metal jam. Not only does the electric guitar sound pretty realistic (compared to the guitar in a Mega Man X game), but it's well-composed and gives off the feeling of menace. It doesn't loop quickly, and really jumps out at you.

Despite EarthBound having a very diverse soundtrack, the ending final boss themes still stand out from the rest of the score, which is very important. Granted, three of the four tracks serve more as noise than music, but it's fitting for Giygas. The first track is really good though. I wouldn't have EarthBound on this list without it.

1. Paper Mario

The first part of Paper Mario's final boss battle is an unwinnable battle. It doesn't seem that way at first, but there's no beating Invincibowser. There's a desperation in the lead horn track that sings for the futility of your struggle. Despite your attempts, Mario falls in battle. It's futile to think you can win.

The second part is a little more typical. The song opens with a lovely organ bit. It then goes into choir vocals, more organ, thrashing drums and some sitar. It's pretty great. But the best part of the song is the four bar-long organ bit at the end of the loop that's quickly echoed with an electric guitar, and then followed up with organ and choir. It completes the song.

Let's Review Violinist Of Hameln-- Part 2

This update will include the next two levels from Violinist of Hameln. Let's see...

 
The second level starts out with a puzzle that requires you to either direct Flute into climbing up a ladder at the end of the a short tunnel or just jumping up the ledges with Flute's frog costume. 

The whole first part of the level makes uses of Flute's frog form. The first level was great because escoring Flute required you to clear paths for her, but now that she has her frog costume, she can hop over ledges, and I think the first level dynamic could have been played out a few more levels.

The final part of the second level (I'm starting to think each level has three parts) features a long path with many spike obstacles. The game practically asks you to do the whole part with Flute serving as an ostrich mount. 

 
It's a good level dynamic, and is easily the funnest part of the level and the only part that felt graceful enough for a second level.

Keep Flute happy and collect some stars and you get treated to a nice bonus stage where you can nab some sweet bones like extra lives and musical notes. 

At this point in my review log, I'm not even sure what the notes do yet, but I'm sure it's some music-related.

Low on life, I make use of the village's inn service to heal myself up. It's RPG elements like that that help make the game feel more alive.

The third level is the dreaded Castle Entrance. 

 
Before entering, our two heroes have a little dialogue before walking in the door. 

 
It's not translated that well, so it's hard what to make of it. Seems like typical anime banter.

Not before long, you find Flute's next costume- the robot costume.

 
Unfortunately, it's not sexy in the least, but it allows you to ride Flute across the spiky pits while occasionally jumping on her head to punch obstacles over.

Later in the level, the game introduces the classic “stand on this switch to open the door and I'll walk through and stand on another switch so you can walk through behind me”. 

 
You can get Flute to stay put with the 'X' button. It was at this point while playing when I pondered how hard the game was going to get with the puzzles and action.

Speaking of classic devices, we're introduced to the classic “reviving” enemy in this level. And of course he's a skeleton. Actually, he looks like Dr. Nefarious from the Ratchet And Clank games.

This part of the level might take a retry because some of the puzzles take time to get just right and you have a 99 second time limit. It took me a little while to figure out I was suppose to throw Flute at the stony top of a column blockade. 

 
Oh well. Beside the level's mandatory key pickup you find the Curling Puck costume, however it doesn't serve its use in that level.

Let's Review Violinist Of Hameln-- Part 1

Before we begin, let's do some research on this Violinist Of Hameln manga. Wikipedia says:

Violinist of Hameln (ハーメルンのバイオリン弾き, Hamerun no Baiorin Hiki^?) is a fantasy adventure manga created by Michiaki Watanabe. Its premise is that a group of adventurers are traveling north to the Northern Capital (a.k.a Hameln) to prevent a catastrophe. In this world, music has magical qualities. The manga and the anime are very different. The manga tends toward a lighter, more comedic tone, whereas the anime is darker. The manga eventually takes a darker tone itself though. No official English translations exist to date for the manga or its adaptations. 

 

Now the video game was released on the SNES in 1995. It's a puzzle platformer. When you turn it on, you get a nice Mode 7 graphic of a village and the camera pans down to the Violinist playing in a wood's grove.

Start a new game, and the opening cinematic plays. Some giant lizardmen are attacking a village. Flute, one of the main characters in the game, does her best to stand up to the bullies, but the monsters are unphased. 

Luckily, the Violinist Of Hameln shows up and makes all the monsters start dancing without any clothes on. Flute's impressed!

Each chapter of this game is called a 'movement' after musical terminology, sort of like how each episode of Cowboy Bebop was called a 'session'.

Flute asks the Violinist to save the village. He agrees to, but wants Flute to come along with him. And this is how the greatest platformer mechanic was made, but we'll get into that shortly. You start with 100 Gold so you can buy maybe one or two items to help you out. You can talk to the villagers, but they don't say anything really useful.

The first level is great. Flute's following behind you, but you don't have a use for her yet. Patience now. 

 

She has difficulty following you- she can't jump like the Violinist- so you have to clear paths for her. While Violinist has a traditional life meter, when Flute takes damage, the player's gold decreases. Far better idea than say, give Flute her own life meter and frustrate the player when it depletes and starting the level over.

Now Flute's usefulness comes shortly after picking up an Ostrich Costume and making way to a spiky pit. 

 

Flute has the ability to dress up in animal costumes and exploit the costumes' powers. The ostrich costume allows Flute to walk over spikes and the Violinist can hop on for the ride.

Later on in the level, there's a platform on the top of the screen that can't be reached without stepping on Flute to give the Violinist an extra boost. That's right- the Violinist can use Flute as a stepping stool. But the fun doesn't stop there! You can also pick up and throw Flute for whatever reason need be! To get Flute on top of that platform where Violinist needs a stepping stool, you first must throw Flute up there, then jump on top of her to grab the prize.

In her ostrich costume, you can control which direction Flute walks by turn the Violinist. 

 

 

Near the end of the level, you get a frog costume that serves only to scale the last wall and complete the level.

 

Like the ostrich costume, you can control which direction Flute “hops” with the Violinist.

Up the cliff, walk into the 'Goal' sign to finish the level. 

A great opening level, with excellent music. However, there's a part on the end that requires the player to be very adept in controlling Flute while the Violinist explores the level above. That part felt more like a Level 2 sort of challenge.